Post-Pandemic, 58% of Us Feel Lonely: Here’s How to Fight the Loneliness Epidemic

Before the COVID pandemic, a 2019 national survey from Cigna found that 61% of Americans reported being lonely. That is up 7% from an already surprising 54% in 2018.

And, as the world gains more control over the virus, is the loneliness epidemic disappearing, too? Sadly, no.

The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, released an advisory on the increase of the loneliness epidemic.

Although loneliness is considered a preventable public health issue, loneliness levels remain close to those surprising pre-pandemic levels. According to post-pandemic data from Morning Consult commissioned by Cigna, more than half of U.S. adults (58%) are still feeling lonely; 40% report that they feel isolated and their relationships are not meaningful. Perhaps most remarkably, persistent loneliness is intensifying within younger populations as well.

This widespread loneliness is concerning because, if unresolved, loneliness can harm both body and brain.

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Loneliness Is Universal

Loneliness is a universal emotion, one that’s been with humans since the beginning of time. The word “lonely” itself dates back at least eight centuries. According to The Encyclopaedic Dictionary, it is connected with the word alonely, a contraction of the phrase all-one-ly.

But people aren’t meant to be lonely. Psychologist John Cacioppo, cofounder of the field of social neuroscience, said that interacting with others about common goals defines us as humans. Perhaps that’s why loneliness can be felt so deeply.

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Most of us have felt intensely lonely at least once in our lifetime, in a variety of situations and for personal reasons. And of course, the COVID-19 pandemic caused a temporary spike in loneliness for most people, as we all turned into involuntary hermits, forced to “socially distance” from family, friends, and coworkers.

Let’s connect some dots by answering 7 questions:

1. What is loneliness?

Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, regardless of the actual number of social interactions an individual may have.

Although most of us benefit from some amount of alone time, a healthy and fulfilling life needs close interpersonal relationships. And if those relationships aren’t there? Anyone would feel lonely, even in a crowd.

Psychologists say loneliness typically hovers around a set point unique to each person, spiking occasionally depending on circumstances. The set-point remains fairly constant until they reach their late 70s, when feelings of isolation and loneliness may increase as they begin to lose loved ones.

In recent years, though, deep feelings of loneliness are apparent globally ─ occurring across age groups, and much earlier in life.

In Cigna’s 2020 study, The Greatest Generation and Baby Boomers (including retirees) actually report lower levels of loneliness than Millennial and Gen Z respondents. This seems to be a global trend.

In both the U.S. and western Asia, about 30% of millennials report a constant state of loneliness; in Germany, a full 70%. In the UK, where people report loneliness both on the job and at home, they’ve appointed a Loneliness Minister to help tackle the issue.

2. What causes loneliness?

A wide variety of situations can bring on true loneliness.

One, of course, is isolation. For many, the social-distancing mandates of the COVID-19 pandemic certainly contributed to this. And those who most feared, or were most vulnerable to, the virus often endured weeks or months of alone time.

But it doesn’t take a pandemic to isolate some people. Isolation can go hand in hand with shyness or introversion, injury or disability, and homelessness ─ all scenarios that can prevent an individual’s healthy interactions with others.

Other common causes of isolation and loneliness are:

• Moving to a new place

• Break-up, divorce, or death of a loved one

• A heavy caregiving burden

• Lack of transportation or mobility

• Hearing loss

• Language barriers

• Retirement or starting a new job

• Starting college

• Depression

• Low self-esteem

3. What are the signs of loneliness?

Can you recognize loneliness in yourself or someone else? A lonely person may begin to:

• Withdraw or seem unwilling to engage with others, eventually losing any motivation to socialize.

• Abuse drugs or alcohol to temporarily relieve emotional and mental pain.

• Behave uncharacteristically on social media, posting sad or depressive images or passive-aggressive comments, indicating that they feel left out or abandoned.

• Have angry outbursts, essentially a lonely cry for help.

• Make joking, embarrassed, or sarcastic remarks about their loneliness.

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4. How does loneliness affect the mind?

Neuroscientist Cacioppo noted that loneliness can reduce brain power, and affect our ability to manage anxiety and stress, whether sudden or chronic.

UK researchers analyzed the brains of 40,000 adults, ages 40 to 69, and found that prolonged periods of loneliness actually alter loners’ brain structure. The decision-making and social regions of the brain functioned irregularly. Subjects were increasingly antisocial and had decreased memory and learning. Some older subjects showed progression of Alzheimer’s disease.

Non-lonely people who spend time with “lonelies” are more likely to develop feelings of loneliness themselves.

And alarmingly, like depression, loneliness may be contagious.

5. How does loneliness affect the body?

Back in the 1980s, the Framingham (Mass.) Heart Study produced a result surprising for its time: it showed that “close relationships (are even) more important for the heart than standard protective factors like exercise, a good diet, and not smoking.”

Today, chronic loneliness ─ a lack of those close relationships ─ is believed to be as harmful to physical health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and twice as harmful as obesity.

It creates greater risk of physical disease, including eating disorders, substance abuse, immune deficiencies and serious infections, slower healing, inflammation, and elevated odds of heart attack or stroke ─ all potential contributors to a shortened life span.

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6. Is social media making us a lonely planet?

Ironically, social media and the Internet ─ designed to connect people in so many ways ─ may actually provoke much of the loneliness today.

In Cigna’s 2018 study, 53% of very heavy social media users had a high loneliness score, compared to 47% of light users. But the 2020 Cigna report showed a leap in those numbers: now, 73% of very heavy social-media users are significantly more likely to feel alone, isolated, left out, and without companionship (popularly known as fear of missing out, or FOMO), compared with 52% of light users.

Also, 60% of heavy social media users no longer feel close to anyone, up 17% from 2018.

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7. Why are younger people increasingly lonely?

A study of college students in Hong Kong showed that excessive use of social media boosted levels of loneliness.

In fact, as exceptionally heavy users of social media, young adults appear to be lonelier than ever before. A 2019 survey noted that 25% of people ages 18-to-27 report having no close friends; 22% say they have no friends at all.

In a 2021 Harvard research project, 61% of young adults ages 18-25 said they feel lonely “frequently” or “almost all the time or all the time”; 43% of them reported increased loneliness since the COVID-19 pandemic. About half of lonely young adults said no one has recently sincerely asked them how they’re doing.

It’s important to emphasize: “friending” hundreds of people on social media doesn’t necessarily benefit younger adults ─ it can create FOMO. And it doesn’t offer the one-to-one physical contact that helps prevent loneliness.

It’s important to note: simply being alone is not the same as feeling alone.

4 Ways to Combat the Loneliness Epidemic

If you or a loved one is chronically lonely, experts recommend that you first establish a well-rounded self-care routine. Get adequate nutrition, good sleep, and regular physical activity. Avoid drugs and alcohol. Practice positivity (think “glass half-full.”)

1. Shorten time spent on social media.

A University of Pennsylvania study found that limiting social media activity to a half-hour a day over a three-week period resulted in a significant reduction in feelings of loneliness. When you do use social media, don’t lurk. Spend your time productively, in touch with others who share your interests.

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2. Try activities or community service where you can join others in a natural way.

Staff your local election polls, sign up for a hike, join a book club or art class, volunteer at an animal shelter or bake sale, or work as a tour guide — activities like these can help you ease into connections with others.

3. Reconnect with family or old friends.

Take the initiative and schedule coffee with someone you share a long history with. Or strengthen a current connection by reaching out to a friend or relative you haven’t spoken with for a while.

4. Get out in nature.

Time spent outside in green space or around animals can lift your mood and sense of well-being.

It’s not how many social interactions you have, but rather the quality of them.

Final message

If you feel loneliness creeping in, remember:

A few close friends that you connect with face-to-face can be far more rewarding — and better for your overall well-being — than superficial connections with hundreds of people on social platforms. Foster high-quality relationships that boost your sense of well-being.

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